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I am hurting so much that I can't put it into words. It literally hurts to do anything beyond breathe. I can't form the words.

Joe Cunningham was killed Saturday. He was in Afghanistan.

I got the call at work. The Army National Guard Chaplains showed up. Jeff confirmed it.

I loved Joe. He was the only person who ever talked about PTSD with me. There was nothing wrong with him. He was honest, kind, funny, & honourable. I can't stand a world that he doesn't exist in.

All I've done the last few days is cry & sleep. I've hardly eaten. I threw up when I came back to work.

I hate this place. It's brought me nothing but pain.

I was turned away from HR today. Guess I will just have to contact a lawyer.

I really don't matter.